http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbwuc5MhCps

"It is all a question of sensitiveness. Brute force and overbearing may make a terrific effect. But in the end, that which lives lives by delicate sensitiveness. If it were a question of brute force, not a single human baby would survive for a fortnight. It is the grass of the field, most frail of all things, that supports all life all the time. But for the green grass, no empire would rise, no man would eat bread: for grain is grass; and Hercules or Napoleon or Henry Ford would alike be denied existence."

-D.H. Lawrence

i have faith that the cards will fall where they are meant to.

feeling suppressed and angry

or dissatisfied

when i reach out

to others

that are unavailable

am i able to express myself

what have i wasted my time here doing

am i incapable

of meeting my own needs

of creating my own happiness

i feel let down.

Finding out what i want and Knowing it may not be what you want. Potential, we wouldn't be without it.

with intention i create and i make stuff happen.
we all put our energy into some effort and without knowing it is released into the universe.
practice what i feel without a doubt, effort forward momentum. seeking without presumption into the unknown.

drugs don't make me feel good. people who do drugs, i don't want to marry time with, i make healthy limits for myself. perhaps those limitations are frugal, yet artificial fun is not for my world. 1
(if i have a child, i will understand the experiment. because i have phased it, lived it. (just to know: self note.) serious life partner; potential marriage partner, no no no. and so, current partner, i am not ready for marriage with You. but I may soon be ready for marriage. that is the danger of long term commitment when our pages are not synchronized. the potential to synchronize awaits.)

conserve. me.

manifest this.

life,

i will continue,

to live.